


lead me not into temptation

by marmolita



Category: Original Work
Genre: Blasphemy, Blasphemy as Pillow Talk, Breaking Celibacy Vows, First Time, Frottage, M/M, Quiet Sex and Trying Not to Be Caught, Religion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:08:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23369767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marmolita/pseuds/marmolita
Summary: Sebastian suffered through his own temptation, much closer to home than the temptation of Christ that Luke had endless questions about.  No, his private temptation was a fall of dark curls across a smooth forehead, a glimmer in deep brown irises, the plush curve of pink lips, and a lithe body too easily glimpsed when bathing.
Relationships: Monk/Devil, Monk/Enchantingly Beautiful Novice Who Is Secretly The Devil, implied Jesus Christ/Lucifer
Comments: 20
Kudos: 48
Collections: Smut 4 Smut 2020





	lead me not into temptation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lightningwaltz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightningwaltz/gifts).



> I was so excited to get this ship to write for! lightningwaltz, I hope this is close enough to what you were looking for for you to enjoy it!
> 
> Let me please provide the biggest disclaimer known to man: I am not only not Catholic, I'm not even Christian. I did my best to research appropriately, but I apologize in advance for any errors. Also, this is an incredibly blasphemous fic, as you might expect from the fact that it's tagged for blasphemy and the relationship tags.

_ and no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light ( _ _ 2 Corinthians 11:14) _

The sun shone brightly down on the courtyard, casting long shadows from the trees over the garden patch Brother Sebastian was tending. He wiped sweat from his brow and stretched his back, sore from all the weeding.

"Tired already?"

Sebastian turned to shoot a small smile at Brother Luke, the friary's new novice. "Aren't you?" Luke seemed to have boundless energy, more than most novices his age. The friary needed the youth, with most of the brothers aging as modern times led to fewer and fewer middle sons sent to the Church. Sebastian himself was the last novice to take his vows three years ago; the others who had arrived since then, even those inclined toward solitude and introspection, had ultimately decided the allure of the outside world was too strong.

"Not yet," Luke said with a sunny smile. He glanced toward the clock tower, then back at Sebastian. "We've got another hour until Sext."

Sebastian wiped his brow again and bent to resume his work, wrapping his fingers around the bottom of a dandelion and pulling it out by the roots. "Best get back to work then," he said, trying not to watch as Luke cheerfully saluted him with his hoe and swung it easily into the soft dirt.

*

"But  _ why _ ?" Luke asked again, jabbing his finger at the book in front of him. "Why banish a questioner to eternal damnation, rather than answering his questions? Would it not be better to enable worshippers full understanding of God than punish them for wanting to know Him?"

"It's not for us to question God's will," Sebastian said, though privately he'd often wondered the same. He gestured at the stained glass window depicting the banishment of Lucifer. "Father Joseph always says--"

"Yes, but what do  _ you _ say?" Luke leaned forward and took Sebastian's hand in his own, pulling it back down. It made Sebastian's face heat, though he didn't want to think about why.

Sighing, Sebastian extracted his hand from Luke's, ignoring the way Luke's fingers reluctantly lingered. "I was like you, when I first arrived," he said, looking away but keeping Luke in the corner of his eye. He found it difficult to focus his thoughts, sometimes, when Luke was this close. God had never made a more beautiful face than the one he gave Luke, all dark hair and eyes and soft, olive skin, enough to tempt even the most devoutly celibate monk. "Full of questions, looking for answers. But what I came to learn is that God is the only answer that I need."

He looked up at Luke, who had a small wrinkle in his forehead, right between his eyes. "Meditate on why you have these questions, Brother Luke. Pray for guidance from the Lord."

Luke shook his head, still frowning. "I came here to learn," he said, his eyes bright with an intensity Sebastian had only seen in the most devout priests. "I wanted to learn the ways of men and the ways of the Lord. How can I learn if I cannot ask?"

The bells for Vespers rang, and it was hard for Sebastian to not feel like he'd been rescued.

*

Brother Luke was like a dog on a bone. He questioned everything, but he focused his studies on Satan and his temptations. Sebastian guided him as best he could, but often was left hoping that Father Joseph could handle his novice's ceaseless questions.

The questions never ceased: not when they worked together in the gardens, not when they peeled potatoes in the kitchens, not when Luke settled on his knees next to Sebastian for Matins, mumbling his thoughts on the temptation of man through a yawn. Despite it all, Sebastian could sense Luke's devotion; he could see it, Luke's eyes lambent in the candlelight as he gazed upon the body of the Christ, suffering on the cross. He could feel it, in the way Luke clasped his hands and prayed. He could taste it when Luke knelt to receive communion.

How could a man so in love with God be so insistent that Satan wasn't really bad?

Sebastian suffered through his own temptation, much closer to home than the temptation of Christ that Luke had endless questions about. No, his private temptation was a fall of dark curls across a smooth forehead, a curious glimmer in deep brown irises, the plush curve of pink lips, and a lithe body too easily glimpsed when bathing.

"But Jesus could have made the stones into bread, and not starved," Luke said, ducking his head under the surface of the river, then coming up to breathe and shaking the water out of his hair like a dog. "God wouldn't have wanted Him to starve, would He?"

"We can't presume to know the will of God," Sebastian replied, averting his gaze as Luke made his way out of the river to dry himself. He focused instead on scrubbing the dirt off his fingers, staying waist-deep in the water until his body reached the necessary level of serenity.

"If you were starving and I could feed you, I would. That's why we open our sanctuary to the needy." Luke was blessedly dressed when Sebastian looked back at him, his robes wrapped and tied securely.

"I don't think it's the same thing," Sebastian said, finally emerging from the river and turning his back to Luke to dry himself. He could feel that Luke was watching him, and it made his skin hot and sent shivers up his spine. "Jesus was led by the Spirit to the desert. He could have gone back to the city, but He chose not to because of His faith."

When Sebastian finished dressing, he found Luke deep in thought, chewing on his lower lip. "Have you read the Gospel of Matthew in the original Greek?" Luke asked, as they started back up toward the sanctuary.

"I have," Sebastian replied. "We have a copy in the library. It's much the same as the translation."

"Hm. I thought, perhaps there was a mistranslation somewhere. I thought--" Luke broke off, looking away. "There might be a different explanation than the one that we've been taught."

Frowning, Sebastian said, "That sounds awfully close to blasphemy, Brother."

Luke raised his hands in surrender. "I don't intend to blaspheme. Of course, I wouldn't. I only thought, to love God and Jesus--" He hesitated again, and Sebastian looked at him curiously. "It's no matter. Do you think we'll have honey with our bread tonight?"

The change in subject took Sebastian by surprise, but he went along with it. "If Brother Albert hasn't been stung by too many bees to gather it, then we might." They spoke of small things all the way up the hill to the sanctuary, but Luke never quite lost his contemplative air.

*

Luke was quiet the rest of the day, so deep in thought he didn't even raise any questions after their study session. He ate quietly, studied quietly, worked quietly. For someone as bright and talkative as Luke to be so pensive was distracting in a way that Sebastian never anticipated. He couldn't help speculating whether Luke's "different explanation" for the Temptation of Christ was so blasphemous he was wracked with guilt over it.

He couldn't stop looking at Luke, at the way his face shone when he looked up at the altar, and wondering.

*

After Compline, Sebastian followed Luke into his cell. Luke had been so distracted he hadn't even noticed, and when he turned to close his door and found Sebastian there he startled and took a step back. "Brother Sebastian! Is there something I can do for you?"

Sebastian took a quick look down the hall, but the other Brothers were either already in their cells or still finishing their prayers. He stepped into Luke's cell and shut the door behind him. "I want to know your theory," he said with more confidence than he felt, "about the Temptation of Christ."

The look Luke gave him was hard to read. He suddenly seemed older than his years, as if he had some ageless wisdom that he chose to hide from the world. The moment stretched, silent except for the muffled chanting of Brother Paul in his cell across the hall. Then, Luke sat heavily on his pallet, shuffling over to make room for Sebastian. Sebastian sat down carefully, smoothing his hands over the rough blanket.

"God loves his creations," Luke began carefully, "and God's angels love Him, just as man-- just as we do." He sighed and pulled his crucifix out of his robes, holding it in his hand and rubbing his thumb over the corpus. "Jesus loved God, and God loved Jesus. The being men call the devil, he was cast out for seeking to know God. But he was not killed. He walked the Earth again, in Jesus's time, and that is how we have the Temptation."

Luke looked up at Sebastian, who nodded for him to continue. "The-- the devil, he was one of God's angels. He loved God, and he loved Jesus. He loved Jesus so much that he couldn't bear to see him suffer. He tried everything he could think of to spare Jesus His suffering. Why not turn stone to bread if He was hungry? Why not jump from the parapet to test His faith rather than starving in the desert for forty days? He offered Him kingdoms to keep Him safe from pain, but Jesus wouldn't listen."

"He offered Him kingdoms in exchange for Jesus's worship," Sebastian corrected, taken aback by the turn that Luke's theory had taken.

"That's what the text says," Luke replied, "but is any written record wholly accurate? Would you not try all in your power to protected one whom you loved?" He rubbed his thumb over his crucifix again, and Sebastian could see the tears shining in his eyes. "You who have dedicated your life to the Lord, to the gospels-- would you not save Jesus, whom you love, if you had the chance?"

Sebastian found himself reaching out, his hand cupping Luke's face so he could brush away a tear with his thumb. "It is not for men to defy the will of God," he said quietly, afraid to say too much and push Luke to a breaking point. "Jesus died for our sins."

Luke closed his eyes, and another tear spilled down his cheek. "I know," he said, his lip trembling. "But I love Him. And I hate that-- that loving Him could be a thing that would be punished. That loving anyone could be a thing that would be punished."

The words struck a chord in Sebastian that tightened his chest. He moved his hand to brush Luke's hair out of his face, then trailed his fingers down Luke's cheek. "Luke, I--" he began. Luke opened his eyes, and Sebastian was caught by them, by the ancient pain and by the depth of his devotion. His heart beating hard in his chest, Sebastian leaned in, close, closer, until he felt the surprised puff of Luke's breath before their lips met.

Luke's mouth was soft and warm, just as Sebastian had imagined in his weakest moments. The chaste press of lips against lips seemed to go on forever, until Sebastian finally pulled away. Luke blinked up at him, his lips slightly parted and his eyes wide, then he took Sebastian's face in both hands and tugged him down into another sweet kiss.

"You understand," Luke murmured against his lips, his voice suffused with wonder. "You understand me, you love Him as I do." Sebastian couldn't answer, his heart too full, too afraid of confessing to something he should not. Yes, he loved God, and Jesus, but there was another well of love opening up inside him. He wrapped his arms around Luke and pulled him close, holding him until the bells tolled the hour and he reluctantly slipped back to his own cell.

*

Things were different, and yet they were the same. Sebastian felt different -- alive and awake and  _ seen _ . But Luke was his same sunny self, eternally curious and suffused with fervor in his prayers. He'd always been affectionate, but now Sebastian couldn't help the way he shivered at every touch.

He spent long hours praying in the night, always the first to arrive in the sanctuary at Matins and the last to leave, asking God whether Luke's presence in his life was a temptation or a revelation. His faith never wavered, but God sent no sign to give him direction. In the absence of a sign, Sebastian often found himself listening to Luke's unusual theories about Satan and temptation and love.

"I only mean," Luke said one afternoon, the sun slanting in through the colored glass windows of the library, "that if God created all, and God loves all His creations, then surely He must love Satan as well."

"If Satan was an angel who was cast out, then perhaps God gave up His love for him due to his actions," Sebastian replied, tapping his quill against his paper.

Luke frowned. "Did Jesus only die for the sins of man? Not the sins of angels and all creation? If Satan had sinned, would Jesus not redeem him?"

Sebastian considered it. "Only if he embraced Jesus into his heart, loved Him, surrendered to Him and the Spirit," he concluded eventually.

"But he did!" Luke exclaimed, standing up and throwing down his own quill. "He tried to rescue Him in the desert because he loved Him! Of course he embraced Him. Of course he surrendered to Him."

Luke was agitated, that tiny frown line back between his brows, pacing back and forth. It made Sebastian's heart ache. He stood and took Luke's hands in his own to stop him. "If he had surrendered, he would have let Jesus seek His own fate and not tempted Him."

"Do you really think so?" Luke asked, his voice small. "Was it wrong, to try to save Him?"

The library door opened, and Sebastian let his hands drop from Luke's and turned back to his work. "Come to my cell after Compline," he said quietly, not thinking too hard about it. "We can talk then."

Luke nodded solemnly, his beautiful face clearing. Sebastian couldn't help but smile.

*

Sebastian's heart was beating hard when the soft knock on his door finally sounded. Luke entered, his eyes wide and still light with the vestiges of his prayers. His full lips were slightly parted, his skin glowing in the dim candlelight. Sebastian looked upon him with wonder, scarcely able to comprehend the beauty before him.

He moved without thinking, circling his arms around Luke and leaning in to press their lips together.  _ This is wrong _ , he thought, but Luke's lips didn't  _ feel  _ wrong against his, and Luke kissed back just as ardently as he debated the nature of the devil.

The backs of his knees hit the edge of his pallet and Sebastian sat down hard, not even aware of how he'd gotten across the small room. Luke was climbing on top of him, straddling his lap, and Sebastian got his faculties back enough to set a hand on Luke's chest to stop him. "We shouldn't," he managed.

"Why not?"

Sebastian spluttered. "Because-- the vow of chastity--"

"Is a vow to preserve your devotion to the Lord, is it not?" Luke looked at him quizzically. "I know you love God above all else, Brother Sebastian."

Sebastian reached up to stroke Luke's cheek, and Luke turned his head into it, pressing a kiss to Sebastian's palm. "How could I confess such a sin?" he wondered, hardly imagining the penance he would need for something like this.

"What sin is there in love?" Luke argued. "God's heart is big enough to love all, and He created man in His image."

"But pleasures of the body--"

"--are an expression of love. At least, in their purest form." Luke leaned down and kissed Sebastian again, moving flush against him as he slid his fingers into Sebastian's short hair. "Will you send me away?" he asked quietly.

A long moment stretched between them, before Sebastian finally confessed, "I could sooner banish the sun from the sky."

Luke smiled, the beatific smile that lit up Sebastian's heart with the same sort of ardor as prayer. Then Luke was kissing him again, pushing him down onto the pallet, and Sebastian lost himself in the heat of his mouth and his body.

A helpless sound tore its way from Sebastian's throat when Luke shifted, his thigh sliding between Sebastian's legs, and Luke pulled back and laid a finger over Sebastian's mouth. "We should be quiet," he whispered, and Sebastian nodded and kissed his fingertip, his face burning at the thought of one of the other brothers catching them like this. He knew, of course, that in their weaker moments some of the others failed to maintain their vows of chastity, but Sebastian himself had never wavered before now.

Now, though, with Luke's weight pressing him down, Luke's thigh pressing against him so intimately, Sebastian couldn't dream of stopping. He felt so hot, consumed with divine fire, his whole body yearning for Luke's, but he didn't know what to do next, where to put his hands. Luke seemed to know what he was doing, his hands moving over Sebastian's body and rousing his blood even hotter, making him ache in a way he hadn't felt since his youth.

"Put your hands on me," Luke murmured against the skin of Sebastian's neck, where he trailed wet kisses down to the edge of his robes. He'd never imagined that this could feel so good, or so right. Permission granted, Sebastian ran his hands down the length of Luke's back, biting back another groan as he felt the flex of Luke's lean muscles beneath the wool.

Luke rocked gently against Sebastian, a delicious friction that made him tremble all over. Luke's hand slid between their bodies, down between Sebastian's legs. Sebastian bit his lip to keep from crying out, grabbing frantically at Luke's arm. Everything was so overwhelming, but somehow that felt like one step too far.

"Shh, shh, you're alright," Luke said, moving his hand away again to cup Sebastian's cheek instead and draw him into another kiss. "Just like this, alright?" He moved his thigh back into place, and Sebastian nodded gratefully, his eyes stinging with tears he couldn't identify the source of. Luke kept his fingers close to Sebastian's mouth, ready to smother his cries if needed, and Sebastian was miserably grateful for it. He could feel Luke's own arousal digging into his hip, and he fought the urge to touch, instead twisting his fingers in the cloth of Luke's habit.

It was impossible not to move, though, and Sebastian found himself thrusting up against Luke, his breath coming hard through clenched teeth as he tried to stay quiet. Luke was quiet too, panting hot and wet against Sebastian's neck as he moved, thumb stroking over Sebastian's jaw, hips working to grind them together. Another gasp escaped Sebastian's lips and he turned his face into Luke's arm, biting down on the coarse fabric of his sleeve.

"Feels good," Luke murmured against Sebastian's skin. "Do you feel good, Brother Sebastian?" Sebastian nodded helplessly, another cry muffled by the fabric in his mouth as Luke continued to rock against him. "Isn't it-- oh-- isn't it beautiful, to share this?"

Sebastian wanted to keep his eyes open, to focus on Luke's bewitching features, but the pleasure was too great. He bit down hard, his head pressing back against the hard pallet as heat rushed through his body, his limbs trembling and his fingers digging into Luke's back, his consciousness suffused with the divine feeling of grace that came over him in his most fervent prayers.

Luke made a small sound against his neck, pressing harder against him, and Sebastian gasped at the overwhelming sensation. "Beautiful," Luke gasped, his hips thrusting again, then once more, then stilling, his lips pressed to Sebastian's sweaty skin. Sebastian released Luke's sleeve and turned his head, suddenly desperate for the feeling of Luke's lips against his own. Luke met him halfway, indulging him in a heated, languid kiss, then collapsed to his side next to Sebastian on the pallet.

For a long time, they lay in silence, Sebastian's breath gradually coming back to him until finally the mess started to become uncomfortable and he began to question whether he'd lost his mind entirely. "I can hear you thinking," Luke said, as he cleaned himself up. "There is no sin in love."

"But there is," Sebastian replied, his gaze landing on the crucifix on his wall. "There  _ is _ ."

Luke looked down at him, his head cocked to the side, and proceeded to say perhaps the most blasphemous thing Sebastian had heard from his lips yet. "The sin is in those in the Church who ignore Jesus's teachings to advance their own power through punishment."

Sebastian frowned. "Do you truly believe the Church is wrong? That's a dangerous train of thought."

Luke lay back down, settling his head on Sebastian's chest, an intimate touch that felt far better than Sebastian wanted it to. "I believe that Jesus loves me as I love Him, and I believe that God loves all His creation. For men to say He does not, to say that I--" Luke cut himself off, before his voice rose too loud. He reached out to touch Sebastian's cheek, and Sebastian covered his hand with his own. "We should sleep," he finished finally.

Sebastian wanted to argue, to find out what Luke had been about to say, but his body was heavy and satisfied and sleep was all too tempting. "You'll tell me," he murmured as his eyes slid shut, "later."

He thought he heard Luke say goodnight, but sleep's pull was too much to resist.

*

The bells rang for Matins, and Sebastian woke with a start. His bed was empty, and for a moment he thought he'd dreamed the whole encounter. But his soiled linens provided the damning evidence, and when he pressed his head into his pillow he thought he could still feel a trace of Luke's warmth. His heart was conflicted, torn between his love for Luke and his vows, and as he made his way to the chapel he knew he would have to pray for guidance.

Luke knelt next to him, as he always did, his head bowed and hands clasped. He offered Sebastian a small smile, and that was enough to ease him as he attended to his prayers. Luke didn't speak to him, though, and neither did God.

*

In the morning, Luke wasn't in his usual place at breakfast. In fact, he wasn't there at all, and Sebastian's stomach twisted uncomfortably. Had they been found out? Was this a sin that was too much for penance and forgiveness?

But when he left the refectory, Luke was waiting for him outside. He was dressed in traveling clothes instead of his habit, and Sebastian had to resist the urge to embrace him. "Good morning," Luke said, his sunny smile lighting up his face.

"I don't understand," Sebastian replied in dismay.

Luke looked a bit chagrined as he shrugged his shoulders. "I have to go," he said simply.

"But why?" None of the novices had taken vows in years, but surely Luke was different. His devotion was unmatched, his love for God beyond all else.

Luke's smile dimmed a little. "God is calling me elsewhere," he said simply, though Sebastian thought whatever it was Luke had been on the edge of last night may have had more to do with it than that.

He reached out and took Luke's hand, a gesture brotherly enough not to raise eyebrows in case someone passing saw them. "I don't want you to go," he confessed, his chest tight. Luke's thumb rubbed soothingly over his wrist before he let go.

"You're a beautiful person," Luke said quietly. "Please don't forget it."

Sebastian thought he understood, then, what was happening. "Is this God's punishment for my sin?" he wondered, his voice barely loud enough to be heard.

Luke stepped forward and set his hand on Sebastian's shoulder, squeezing tightly. "Never think that," he said fervently. "Have no regrets, Brother. God called me here, and God is calling me back. I will think of you often, and fondly."

Sebastian nodded, not trusting his voice, and forced himself to watch as Luke walked away.

*

"The devil takes many forms," Father Joseph said, fingers spreading across the Bible set before him on the lectern. "He seeks to tempt us with money, with power, with sins of the flesh. He will test your faith and make you question your vows and the teachings of the Church. But do not let him turn your heart from God. Do not allow him to worm his way into your heart. No! We must choose every day to dedicate ourselves to God and to resist temptation. We must choose to give our hearts and minds wholly to Jesus. 'God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able.' 'Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.'"

As Father Joseph continued, the familiar verses struck a chord deep in Sebastian's heart. He turned his eyes up to the top of the chapel, to the artwork depicting the Temptation of Christ. Jesus stood at the top of a mountain, the devil beside him gesturing broadly. Black wings stretched from the devil's back and a pair of horns stood upon his forehead, but there was something familiar about his face, sad and beautiful.

The next reading was from the Book of Job, and as he listened, Sebastian felt the echo of Luke's words.  _ God called me here, and God is calling me back, _ he had said, just as God allowed Satan to tempt Job into giving up his faith. But Luke was a faithful servant of God -- Sebastian had witnessed it with his own eyes. There was no doubting his love, though thinking of it made Sebastian's heart ache.

He gazed again on the painting, at the familiar fall of hair over the devil's deceptively cherubic face, and wondered.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to the folks who helped me with brainstorming, cheerleading, and beta! (You know who you are, and I will try to remember to come back and credit once the author reveal happens.)


End file.
